You Know You're Trailer Trash When...

The Halloween pumpkin on the porch has more teeth than your spouse.


You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.


You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.


You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.


Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.


You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.


Anyone in your family ever died right after saying "Hey, watch this!"


You can burp and say your name at the same time.


Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.


Your junior prom had a daycare.


You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines!"


You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.


The blue book value of your truck goes up or down depending on how much gas is in it.


You consider watching WWF before bedtime foreplay.


You have flowers growing in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.


You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.


One of your kids was born on a pool table.


You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.


You think a quarter horse is a ride outside Wal-Mart.


You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.